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Problem Girl
links
+userinfo
+entries
+friends
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+add me
the girl
Name:problem girl
Residence:lonely no more
Age:22
Height:as small as ever
loves
drinking, chain smoking, music, love, sex, trouble
hates
ignorant people, love
music
green day, the killers, jason mraz, my chem, alkaline trio, no doubt, rancid, mxpa, less than jake, keane, hello goodbye, yellowcard, the streets, pink, beatles
lyrics
layout
Background by Vintage-Glow. Coding by Ospenoptemous DO NOT STEAL.
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livejournal userinfo |
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calendar |
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livejournal calendar |
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[Tuesday
March 14th, 2006
4:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 numb |
] |
i'm very done with livejournal. go here if you want to actually pretend like you're interested in my life.
www.myspace.com/sheslost4words
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| i just missed the train. |
[Monday
March 13th, 2006
2:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 shy that way |
] |
i just realized that i don't update on what's going on in my life anymore. i'm not sure why i do that. i'm slowly getting tired of this.
weekend.
friday: out with crystal, jason and jason. :) went to cigar bar. emmy showed up for a quick second, enough to sit down and say some more rude shit and then leave. fuck it. went back to megan's. hung out there. got even drunker. crashed there with jason. :)
saturday: megan made gross breakfast. blech. went home about 3:45ish and slept. all day. woke up for what seemed like a split second, just long enough to call my mom and wish her a happy birthday and to watch storytellers with green day :) i'll always wake up for green day.
sunday: busch gardens with megan and ryan and jason. i went on the sheikra. scared the shit out of me and i will forever hate ryan for making me get on that thing with him. got really drunk. i'm an official beermaster now! fell on my ass on the stairs and my elbow got all scraped up and it hurts :(
so that brings me to today. work is going surprisingly fast right now. i think i may call gabe tonight and see if he wants to go to sharkey's or something. i haven't hung out with him in a while. eh. maybe a week.
i think that's all that's going on. i got in a huge fight with my mom the other day. it's really sad how she can be 4 hours away and still nag and bitch at me. i don't get it. i've got 2 months to get the fuck out of that godforsaken house or they're kicking me the fuck out. it wasn't put in exact terms like that, but i know that it's going to come down to that. she thinks i should stay there because i'm going to have to save money for megan and ryan's wedding (whenever that's happening) and for rick and alicia's wedding. i'll quickly get over that and probably make some quick money at the last minute on the corner of wabash or something. i'm sure i'll figure something out.
met her at a party and i took her home. she is the saddest girl that i have ever known. she wakes me up in the middle of the night just to tell me everything will be alright. amy smiles at me and tells me everything will be alright. i tell myself the same damn thing. everyday.
everything will be alright.
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| .bleed. |
[Wednesday
March 8th, 2006
1:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 complacent |
] |
Well, it's been almost a year to the moment
When I finally realized it was over
And I knew that love wasn't good enough
Of a reason for me to stay
Well, I saw you yesterday; you were drivin'
And I tried so hard to forget
You were alive, and as you passed by I began to cry
Over things that I did not say
And hide underneath my blankets and sheets
I'm finally free
I'm killin' the ghost of you, and I'm close to
Awakening me
Yeah, yeah
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
And love's something that I wouldn't wanna live without
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
On my own, my own, my own
Well, it takes all of my strength to be stable
And I force your insults under the table
And if you were wise you would compromise
And allow me to live my way
'Cause I am not a force to be reckoned with
And you don't have a clue what you're messin' with
And you can't see to the best in me
'Cause it's more than your heart can take
And hide underneath my blankets and sheets
I'm finally free
I'm killin' the ghost of you, and I'm close to
Awakening me
I'm awakening me
I'm awakening me
I'm awakening me
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
And love's something that I wouldn't wanna live without
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
On my own, my own, my own
I'm takin' my heart and I'm settin' you free
And, baby, now you're just another song to me
And the edge of your sword isn't sharp enough for me
To bleed
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| when i'm done with crying, then i'm done with you. |
[Monday
March 6th, 2006
12:25pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
] |
wow. i've been slacking. not too much going on. just hanging out with friends. the same old stuff.
i got so drunk a few weekends ago that i haven't even wanted to drink much since then. i guess that's a good thing right?
me and ali and rick went to busch gardens on saturday. we got the season passes, so we'll be hanging there all summer i'm sure. our new best friend: beer in aluminum bottles! it's amazing! it keeps those bitches cold all day!
after busch gardens we went back to ali and rick's, took a shower and hung out and then went to hurricane's for a while. i got to talk a lot more to jason. he's cool as hell. i really like him, i'm just scared to death to start something new. i feel like i still need to work on some other stuff. how weird is that? i was seeing pat for quite some time and i thought i wanted another relationship, but i'm happy that i didn't because jason's cool as hell.
i just hope i don't screw this up.
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| ...wounded... |
[Friday
February 24th, 2006
11:08am] |
The guy who put his hands on you
Has got nothing to do with me
And the bruises that you feel will heal
And I hope you'll come around
Cause we're missing you
And you used to speak so easy
Now you're afraid to talk to me
It's like walking with the wounded
Carrying that weight way to far
Concrete pulled you down so hard
Out there with the wounded
We're missing you
Well I never claimed to understand what happens after dark
But my fingers catch the sparks at the thought of touching you
When you're wounded
Let me break it down till to force the issue
We miss your face and you know we wish you
Would come back down to the Dalva Bar
You tell them, that's just my battle scar
I wanna kiss you
And knock 'em down like we used to
You're the marigold
Till you're walking down shaking that ass again
Then you walk on, baby, walk on, you walk on
On and on
You're an angel in the pit with her hands in the air
And we're missing you
Now it's fall, and your shoulder's get tighter
Nervous flicks on the lighter, boots
Your pissed off poets, your women's groups
And the friends with you, we should have known this fool
Well I guess we missed the mark
Still my fingers catch the sparks at the thought of
Them touching you
Now you're wounded
Let me break it down till to force the issue
You never come around, and you know we miss you
Well nobody took your pride away
I say, that's something people say
Back down the bully to the back of the bus
Cause it's time for them to be scared of us
Till you're yelling, how we living cause you got the ball
Then you rock on, baby, rock on, you rock on
On and on
You're a summer time hottie with her socks in the air
Screaming I won't care, baby, I don't care, no
You say you don't know
You say you can't grow (you're the marigold)
All I know is we're missing you, you
You say you don't know
You say you can't grow (you're the marigold)
All I know is we're missing you
Show up wounded
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| and sometimes i wonder if you're really as beautiful as i believe... |
[Monday
February 20th, 2006
9:25am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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hmm. where to start with the weekend. lemme try and do a quick overview.
friday night: tanner's with ali and rick. chaser (jason)FINALLY met us there. he's really cool. got drunk. got pist at the fucking bartenders. weird creepy guy stole my cigarette!
saturday: went to megan's. we made fresh smoothies and went walking. we walked a total of 4 miles. after that we watched 'in her shoes'. we were having a really nerdy sisterly day, so we went and finished it up at the tattoo parlor :) i'm going to try and get pics of them as soon as i can. but they look really nice except mine won't stop bleeding. after that i went to ali and rick's. chaser was there. he's a cool guy, even though he doesn't know who matthew broderick is :)
sunday: i was sore as HELL from walking with megan. i went to target so i could get lotion for my tat, and then went to best buy. i tried to get a new cell phone but i'm going to just wait for my dad because it's all under his name. so instead of a new cell phone i ended up spending a bunch of money on cd's. then i cleared out my zen and loaded some new cd's on there. CAN YOU BELIEVE I BARELY HAD ANY GREEN DAY ON THERE?! I'M AN AWFUL FAN!
so that's pretty much it. i'm bored today at work because i don't have much to do and jess isn't here :( i'll have to kick her ass tomorrow. ok. i'm going to attempt to do some work before my 10:00 break. check ya later.
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| he he... |
[Friday
February 17th, 2006
4:46pm] |
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mood |
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 goofy |
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Dear Friends,
I have just read and signed the online petition:
"DVDaria - The petition for a quality Daria DVD
release"
hosted on the web by PetitionOnline.com, the free online petition
service, at:
http://www.PetitionOnline.com/dvdaria/
I personally agree with what this petition says, and I think you might
agree, too. If you can spare a moment, please take a look, and
consider
signing yourself.
Best wishes,
Amy Dice
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[Tuesday
February 14th, 2006
4:35pm] |
| Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real" | 
You're a bit of a cynic when it comes to love.
You don't lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart.
Your ideal Valentine's Day date: is all about the person you're seeing (with no mentions of v-day!)
Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic
What turns you off: romantic expectations and "greeting card" holidays
Why you're hot: you don't just play hard to get - you are hard to get |
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| bite my lip and close my eyes, take me away to paradise. |
[Tuesday
February 14th, 2006
2:20pm] |
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mood |
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silly |
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...i hate valentine's day...
my friends have made it a little better for me though. jess and jose each got me a flower and ali got me some candy in a cute little dish. she also gave me a picture that zariah did :) i hung it in my cubie.
well, jess is single now. too long of a story to type on here. i'm happy for her though, and so proud of her that she got the balls to do it. so now, we two 22-year-old single hot girls! we're going out tonight to celebrate how much valentine's day sucks by getting drunk. that's right, jess is getting drunk!
work sucks. i'm tired and bored.
alicia and rick's engagement party was BEAUTIFUL! everyone had so much fun. after their mom's, we went back to alicia's house and drank some more with rick's sister and brother-in-law and his dad. they were all so nice. i had so much fun.
ugh. gotta get back to work.
there's always more time for lyrics right? thought so...
i sit a watch the tube, but nothing's on. i change the channels for an hour or two. twiddle my thumbs just for a bit. i'm sick of all the same old shit. in a house with unlocked doors and i'm fucking lazy. bite my lip and close my eyes, take me away to paradise.
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| can you believe that he actually thinks that i'm really alive? |
[Monday
February 6th, 2006
10:28am] |
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mood |
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 thoughtful |
] |
they might make you think you're happy
yeah maybe for a minute or two
they can't make you laugh
no they can't make you feel the way that i do
ugh. i'm really getting tired of work.... quick rundown of the weekend because i will eventually have to get back to work.
friday: got FUCKED UP at megan's with gabe. god...i had a total of 2 bottles of wine by myself. got home about 4:30.
saturday: ATTEMPED to do my taxes. yelled at my dad. got pist off. went to ali's to get drunk yet again.
ali: "i've still got that vodka, what can we mix with that?"
amy: "cranberry juice or oj?"
ali: "REDBULL!!!!!!!"
sunday: party at megan's for yet another drunken night. yes ladies and gentlemen, that's 5 days straight of amy being fucked up. me, keith, kevin and gabe all went to sharkey's after that. got fucked up some more.
kevin called me a music slut last night...i would like to say that first of all, we are NOT going to use that as my nickname :) and another thing, i'm not a music slut, it's just that everyone elses's music just sucks unless it's what i listen to :)
and this is amy, signing out with:
What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems
I've told you time and time again
You sing the words but don't know what it means
To be a joke and look
Another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time
TAKE A GOOD HARD LOOK
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| not every tear means that you're gonna cry |
[Thursday
February 2nd, 2006
12:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 i sparkle on my own |
] |
so i'm taking these pills for to fill up my soul and i'm drinking them down with cheap alcohol and you'd be inclined to be mine for the taking and part of this terrible mess that i'm making. but you, you're the catalyst.
so i got smashed last night. we're talking D*R*U*N*K. i blame everyone that helped me do that :)
but i'm in a great mood today! everything's going really good right now!
my dad and my sister are not talking. he has to lose weight and it's become a huge issue. he's changing though! he's eating healthier and he made an appointment today to go to the doctor for a physical. i'm so happy for him. i love him and he needs to take care of himself.
hmm..i'm in such a great mood today, and i don't even have much to update on! ok. i think i'm going to ramble for a little bit now.
i'm not mad at you. or anyone. i'm not mad that you left, i'm not mad about anything anymore. everything's come out in the open, and i want to thank both of you for actually letting everything eat at you for about 10 months now and finally letting it all out. i appreciate it. i will forgive in time. i won't forget.
you have each written a chapter in the book of my life. the chapters are done, and now i can continue with everything else that's waiting for me in life. the weight on my shoulders has been lifted.
it's what you did that's hurting you. all i needed was the truth. now i'm gone.
i appreciate everyone who has been there in the past month for me. you know who you are. there's one in particular. i feel like i do this sappy shit all the time, but you deserve it and even though i do it all the time, i feel like it's not enough. it'll never be enough. you have helped me change my life, and i want you to know that. i want you to take most of the credit for it because without you i couldn't have handled everything the way i have. i don't know what i would do without a friend like you. you truly are my best friend. i love you more than you'll ever know. i'm so happy that you're happy and now you get to start this amazing life ahead of you with an amazing fiance and a beautiful daughter.
well in case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see, this is my heart bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees.
ok. done rambling :)
this weekend. not too many big plans. my mom is going out of town so i get some quality father/daughter time. excitement!
me and ali and rick may go to winter haven on saturday. don't boys know that girls need to dance?!
you know you did it. i'm gone to find someone to live for in this world. there's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight, just a bridge that i gotta burn. you are wrong if you think you can walk right thorough my door. that is just so you, coming back when i've finally moved on.
i'm already gone.
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| flavor of the weak |
[Monday
January 30th, 2006
11:05am] |
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mood |
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content |
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she paints her nails and she don't know
he's got her best friend on the phone
she'll wash her hair, his dirty clothes
are all he gives to her
and he's got posters on the wall
of all the girls he wished she was
and he means everything to her.
her boyfriend, he don't know
anything about her.
he's too stoned, nintendo.
i wish that i could make her see
she's just the flavor of the weak.
it's friday night and she's all alone
he's a million miles away
she's dressed to kill
the tv's on
he's connected to the sound
and he's got pictures on the wall
of all the girls he's loved before
and she knows all his favorite songs
her boyfriend, he don't know
anything about her.
he's too stoned, nintendo.
i wish that i could make her see
she's just the flavor of the weak
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| ...are you listening? can you hear me?... |
[Thursday
January 26th, 2006
3:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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...thinking too much... |
] |
i was working very well just now and i got the sudden urge to update. i'm not even sure why.
i got a call last night from that easily forgotten friend. she called to apologize? yea. there's a question mark there because i'm just as confused as that statement. what are you really sorry for? are you really? that's all you said, and then you hung up. just one more thing for me to forget from everything.
my life hasn't been very exciting, so i'll probably start rambling some crap that won't actually have any meaning in anyone's life.
i got in trouble at work the other day because people can't mind their fucking business and old hags can't just get over shit. whatever....
me and megan have been hanging out a lot. she called me the other night because her and ryan got into an argument over the wedding. i had to go calm her down. i hope everything works out for them. i know it will!
Crazy, now what'cha doing?
Just the same, well I think I'm right
Crazy how fast you're moving
As our friendship pays for your lonely night
This is a conversation with myself
It's okay to dance around it and have it your way
Laugh about it, oh for goodness sake
Don't believe in anything that's keeping you awake
I'm feeling all sentimental and feeling all thru my head
I'm feeling all very sexual but feeling all by myself instead
This is a conversation with myself
It's okay to dance around it and have it your way
Laugh about it, oh for goodness sake
Don't believe in anything that's keeping you awake
Loverboy, lovergirl,
You need a song to sleep to and morning to sleep thru
And have it your way.
You better have it your way with yourself.
You better have it your way anytime.
You better have it you way with yourself and only yourself
You better have it yours and baby you know that I'll have mine.
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| bored at work |
[Thursday
January 19th, 2006
11:53am] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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| You Are a Normal Girl | 
You are 40% Good and 60% Bad
Sure you've pulled some bad girl stunts in your past.
But these days, you're (mostly) a good girl. |
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| everything's going to be fine |
[Monday
January 16th, 2006
12:17pm] |
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mood |
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okay |
] |
i need a little break from my uneventful and boring day at work.
quick catch up from the weekend:
friday: party at crystal's. i'm still sick so i wasn't out too late.
saturday: hung out with megan. that was a lot of fun. i miss her sometimes even though she lives so close.
sunday: lunch with my parents. dinner at megan's. i made empanada's and they kicked ass!
today: work.
my cousin josh is coming into town today! i'm excited because i haven't seen him in a few years. that'll be a lot of fun.
alicia asked me today officially to be a bridesmaid. girl, you know i wouldn't miss it for the world. :)
pat finally called me last night after more than a week of not hearing from him. i'm soooo over it. that's all i could think when i was talking to him on the phone. i couldn't even believe it when i heard my phone ringing and when i picked it up and it said pat on it. he obviously doesn't care much, so i don't either. it's just that easy. i'm done putting effort into it.
all american rejects are coming to town in april with fall out boy and hawthorne heights! me and ali and rick are all going. i can't wait now!
i got my hair cut. i don't really like it that much, but i think i'll get used to it. it's not anything special compared to what it's been. i don't know, i'm thinking about dying my hair blonde all over because it's growing out, and maybe some chunky red highlights. any other suggestions?
ok, i'm out. gotta get my production in.
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[Thursday
January 12th, 2006
10:38am] |
Back down the bully to the back of the bus
Cause it's time for them to be scared of us
Till you're yelling, how we living cause you got the ball
Then you rock on, baby, rock on, you rock on
hmm..pretty uneventful life right now, and i really don't even have a reason to update right now.
i'm getting sick. i hate getting sick because i never am.
let's see. what the hell did i do this week?
monday night: sharkey's with gabe.
tuesday night: spent some time with myself. wrote in my journal.
wednesday night: went out with emmy for a while. spent too much $. drinks and appetizers after everything.
that's it. there's really no point in me even doing this.
there was a talk with my mom on monday night that has really just got me thinking. i want everyone out there that's worried about me, i'm fine. i swear. tuesday night was just a night with myself. it was very nice because i don't get much time to be alone anymore. i spent a good hour writing in my journal that i've neglected too much lately. i made a list of everything that i'm happy about, everything that i'm unhappy about, and anything i can do to changed why i'm unhappy. there's not always a solution for everything, because this one weight on my soulders won't go away, and it's going to be very hard to try to lift it.
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[Monday
January 9th, 2006
12:46pm] |
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mood |
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 slightly vindictive |
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this is the last one. i swear to god. i'm just as tired of this as everyone else is.
i didn't text you. prove it. show it to me. you can't can you? i didn't think so. tell me what i said and tell me what number i did it from. it wasn't me, and it wasn't my friends.
way away away from here i'll be. way away away so you can see how it feels to be alone and not believe anything.
stop lying. it's all done. i'm done with it, i have been. i don't want to see you or talk to you either. it's all over, so drop everything.
don't think of me. don't think of my friends. don't utter my name. ever. if you want to forget it and be done with me, then prove it and do it. don't keep bringing shit up just for attention.
letting out the noise inside of me. every window pane is shattering. cutting up my words before i speak. this is how it feels to not believe.
ahh. ok, now that's done with. so my weekend was pretty good. actually, it was pretty uneventful except for that awful little blurb that i just had to type.
friday i did NOTHING. can you believe that?! i know! pat came over for about an hour, but i guess we both just needed to really catch up on some sleep, so we both did. i was still so exhausted and sore from new york.
saturday was at ali's. more fun! i love drinking over there! it's always so much fun. we can talk about the dumbest shit and have a great time.
last night was dinner at megan's. got to hang out with her for a while. that was fun.
and that was my weekend! exciting huh?
my mp3 player is being so good today! it's playing exactly what i want to hear at the exact time.
say goodnight as the world falls apart. fuck, i can't let this kill me. let go. i need some more time to fix this.
here's a letter for you. but the words get confused. and the conversation dies. apologize for the past. talk some shit, take it back. are we cursed to this life. fuck, i can't let this kill me.
let go.
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[Friday
January 6th, 2006
4:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 hopeful |
] |
until i post my NY pics...
1.What color is most reflective of you?
blue
2. How did you get the idea for your profile name?
green day lyric
3. What time were you born?
8:00 pm
3. What song are you playing now, or wish you were playing?
anna nalick
4. Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry?
um, nope...
5. What color underwear are you wearing?
they're blue and green and say "i'm rad, you're rad, let's hug" :)
6. Do you want a baby?
not now
7. What did you do this morning?
got up, made coffee, came to work
8. Who is the last person you spoke to?
jess
10. What ended your last relationship?
fleeing the state?
What was the last concert you attended?
jason mraz...wait, it was the next big thing!
13. Who was with you?
ali and kim for jason mraz, and pat for next big thing..they were only 2 days apart
14. What was the last movie you watched?
probably narnia
15. Who do you dislike at the moment?
anyone want to take some guesses?? :)
16. What food do you crave right now?
i'm really not hungry
17. Did you dream last night?
not that i can remember
18. What was the last TV show you watched?
something on E! last night as i was falling asleep
19. What is your favorite piece of jewelry?
probably my name plate, i got it for my 16th birthday
20. What is to the left of you?
plant, fish tank, pictures, my inbox
21. What was the last thing you ate?
mmmm...piece of cake
22. Who is your best friend of the opposite sex?
i don't even know anymore. probably either marc or gabe? i don't like boys anymore after they lie about me sleeping with them to their girlfriends.
23. Write a song lyric that's in your head?
....here's a letter for you, but the words get confused, and the conversation dies, apologize for the past, talk some shit, take it back, are we cursed to this life?....fuck, i can't let this kill me
24. Who last IMed you?
it's been awhile since i was on aim, but probably leo
26. Are you on any meds?
nicotine
27. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
the right side
28. What shirt are you wearing?
my "Bada Bing! Little Italy NYC" shirt that i just got
29. What color is your razor?
maroon and silver
30. What is your favorite frozen treat?
mmm...dairy queen blizzards or sonic's banana cream pie shake
31. How many tattoos/piercings do you have?
4 tattoos/4 piercings
32. What's your favorite store?
probably target
33. Are you thirsty right now?
nope
34. Can you imagine yourself ever getting married?
i don't even know anymore
35. Who's someone you haven't seen in a while and miss?
marc isn't back yet :(
36. What did you do last night?
went to sharkey's with gabe and hung out...got my pics back from nyc
37. Do you care what people think about you?
not in the least
38. Have you ever done something to instigate trouble?
hmm...not that i can recall
39. What song(s) do you think ex's listen to and think of you?
heh, anything green day
40. What song(s) do you listen to and think of ex's?
ocean avenue, i believe in a thing called love, universally speaking
48. What is one thing you wish you were better at?
everything
49. Do you like the person who posted this last?
eh, becca's alright :)
50. What is across the room from you?
i'm in a cube...there's not a goddamn thing across from me..
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sheslost4words's journal
sick
